oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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