We won't sleep together?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
