It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
