I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There r osticjed everywhere
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
