I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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