Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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