All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
