I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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