last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
