How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
