bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
