Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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