i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
this will be a night to untag.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize