I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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