Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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