Can Purell be used as lube?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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