we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
