So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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