doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
