Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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