I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
