all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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