So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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