Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
