Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
