She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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