Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
