dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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