dude i'm inner monologue high
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
