she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Floor bacon is actually really good
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
