if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
