Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
