Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
