you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
