it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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