Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
