when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
