I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
