You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
