If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dick very happy bro
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
