i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
