that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
