end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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