you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
