Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
