I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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