All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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