He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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