i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
