I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
