Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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