I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
